Title of This Blog

Why is this weblog entitled, “Will It Be OK?”

When I was a child, that’s what I used to ask — over and over. Whenever I got worried I would catch some disease, get poisoned, or eat a food that had gone bad — that’s what I would ask. “Will it be OK? Yes? Are you sure? Are you positive? Are you sure you’re positive?” Finally, I’d realize the inevitable — that the person I was asking wasn’t really sure, because I was old enough to know it’s impossible to be sure of these kinds of things. So I’d feel anger, and distrust, but still want to know and be reassured.

As a new adult, I used to think my reassurance cycle had gone away and I’d gotten over these sorts of things. In truth, my fears hadn’t so much gone away, but changed into different kinds of fears as I grew older. I still feel that need for reassurance very often, but I try to keep reminding myself that it’s just an obsession, and that no matter how much reassurance I get, I’ll never truly feel better — which is true. The only way to feel better is to accept the way things are and not ask for something I know I can’t get.

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2 thoughts on “Title of This Blog

  1. JaguarJill says:

    Also diagnosed with OCD since I was very little, Im also a big reassurance seeker. I remember asking to my parents over and over if they locked certain doors and begging them to check on me at least twice during the night (but knowing they probably didnt) but asking them to reassure me that it was locked for that false sense of security.
    As an adult (well, sort of,) I seek reassurance that Im not doing a bad job at work, and that people still love me and care about me, and that people still want me around. Its almost like I’ll say the negative and hope they say the opposite telling me my fears are wrong

  2. willitbeok says:

    Yep. I can relate to that stuff big-time. I think I’ve done the “saying the negative” before, saying stuff like “You don’t love me” or “You don’t care about me” — I think sometimes people think I just want attention, and don’t get that I’m actually having a deep, internal struggle.

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