Why is this weblog entitled, “Will It Be OK?”
When I was a child, that’s what I used to ask — over and over. Whenever I got worried I would catch some disease, get poisoned, or eat a food that had gone bad — that’s what I would ask. “Will it be OK? Yes? Are you sure? Are you positive? Are you sure you’re positive?” Finally, I’d realize the inevitable — that the person I was asking wasn’t really sure, because I was old enough to know it’s impossible to be sure of these kinds of things. So I’d feel anger, and distrust, but still want to know and be reassured.
As a new adult, I used to think my reassurance cycle had gone away and I’d gotten over these sorts of things. In truth, my fears hadn’t so much gone away, but changed into different kinds of fears as I grew older. I still feel that need for reassurance very often, but I try to keep reminding myself that it’s just an obsession, and that no matter how much reassurance I get, I’ll never truly feel better — which is true. The only way to feel better is to accept the way things are and not ask for something I know I can’t get.