Journey

Not that it’s been that long… but I started this blog in January, a couple months ago. At the time, I had a lot of thoughts about OCD that I wanted to share. I put off starting a blog about it because I thought: “How could I possibly have enough material to write regularly on the subject?”

I find myself thinking the same thing about starting a blog for Doctor Who memes. We’ll see where that goes.

Another thought I had was: “How can writing about my OCD, essentially dwelling on my problems, actually help?” This blog has been a pleasant surprise. It turned out I had a lot more ideas about OCD and Tourette’s than I realized — and ideas about other disorders/illnesses, too. The more I write, the more I think of to write, and the more cool people I find who either share my problems or have similar ones.

There’s a difference between involuntarily dwelling on one’s problems depressively and excessively (what I used to do), and purposefully deciding to analyze one’s problems objectively and rationally, with reasonable limits.

I don’t know where my interest in these disorders will ultimately go. I have no official education or expertise right now, apart from my own experience — but I believe that is not insignificant. I have an urge to learn more, to meet more people like me, and to share with them — try to help them, and help myself too.

Maybe it won’t go anywhere — maybe writing about these things will simply free my mind so that it can focus on other activities.

And I love being corrected. I love that if I say something on here, there are a wealth of people who know as much or more about OCD than I do to say “Hey, you’re wrong about that.” As long as I’m actually wrong, of course.

It’s important, too, to learn to differentiate my OCD problems from other ones. I need to know when I’m having an obsessive moment, versus when I’m maybe just having trouble accepting something or avoiding something or being stupid.

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4 thoughts on “Journey

  1. I’m really grateful that you write this blog. So, thank you.

    • willitbeok says:

      Thanks. I’m grateful for your blog too. It’s important for people like you who have an experience with PANDAS to come out and talk about it.

  2. minuterobot says:

    I too am grateful for your blog. It’s nice to see that I’m not alone. I’m also entering a turning point. From taking the steps to care enough to get myself better to writing about it. It’s strange when I first started writing about this because it’s a bit demoralizing to see what I used to be, but each post is feeling a bit like ecdysis. I hope to become a speaker on the topic someday. I’ll be using your posts for some inspiration!

    • willitbeok says:

      Yep. I see what you mean about ecdysis. I don’t know how good I’d ever be at public speaking (my shyness combined with my breathing tic seems to make this a huge obstacle.) It can be demoralizing but only if you look at it the wrong way. Usually I fight my obsessions and negative feelings and once I finally admit them and take a moment to analyze them, I start realizing how silly or unfounded they are. But as long as I run from them, I miss that opportunity.

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