Because You Don’t Know OCD

Because you don’t know OCD, you say…

…It’s not a big deal? I have nothing to worry about?

…That I like to fight? That I enjoy arguing?

…Why can’t I just stop?

…That I have no self-control?

But because of OCD, my brain…

…Reminds me that it thinks the problem is a big deal.

…Tells me that anyone who tries to convince me there’s not a problem or that I have nothing to worry about is lying or trying to trick me at worst — at best, they just don’t have enough information.

(…And yet I desperately seek reassurance, asking to be convinced that my worries are groundless. And although your reassurance may temporarily help, the anxiety just comes right back.)

…Won’t let me stop fighting and arguing, even though I hate it.

…Tells me I’m in serious danger if I ignore my worries.

When you get injured and you’re bleeding, your brain tells you it’s important and that you need to put a Band-Aid on. It may be hard to understand, but when my brain tells me that you’re probably trying to trick me, or that I might be poisoned because I touched a box that contains a mouse trap because maybe someone who handled the box had also handled mouse or ant poison and didn’t think it was important not to touch the box since the box contained a trap to kill mice anyway, my brain feels just the same alarm as if I’ve been seriously injured.

And yeah, that really happened yesterday when I touched a mouse trap box. I had to spend a minute convincing myself that probably I didn’t need to wash my hands, and that it would be OK.

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