Neil Hilborn – OCD

Most of you have probably seen this by now. It’s been spreading around the internet like wildfire — which is a very good thing. It’s a spot-on testimony about heartbreak and OCD, and how they can become horribly entwined. I haven’t posted about it until now because, well, there’s just not much I can add to it. It’s brilliant, though, and anyone who hasn’t seen it yet definitely should take the time to. It’s a powerful 3 minutes.

I don’t want to blame all my relationship problems on OCD, but it certainly does make things a lot harder. It’s like you have a hard work-out already and someone just ups the speed on the treadmill without telling you — or something like that.

I’m struggling to find something else to say, but the only way I could is by going into a long, detailed personal history and while I could do that I’m just not in the mood right now, and there would probably not be sufficient benefit for my readers to outweigh the effort. My problem has always been that it never feels right, I never feel accepted, I always feel rejected, and even when I don’t ask for reassurance what I feel is acceptance of rejection, never that I’m not rejected. OK, maybe there have been occasional times that it felt OK, but they quickly pass. And you know what? When that is always the focus, it’s hard to solve or even identify any other problems that may be occurring.

My daughter is screaming at me right now because she can’t take her boots off (???), so it’s hard to put much thought into this.

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