Whenever I hear men complain about how they don’t understand women, or women complain about how they don’t understand men, you know what I don’t understand? Those statements.
I have plenty of trouble understanding people. I have this problem often. But I think it has a lot more to do with each individual rather than any stereotype of how men or women are supposed to act. Because the fact is that if we really think about it, I think most of us will find that the problems we have relating to other people actually have very little to do with their gender.
We are told that men or women typically act this way or that way, or have this or that problem in relationships. Women are supposed to be more caring and nurturing, and men are supposed to be less talkative (at least about their emotions). But you know what? I dare say these stereotypes are not true. I dare say that because we’re told to expect them, we consistently see what we expect to see. We see the caring and nurturing in women while dismissing it in men. We believe what we want to believe is true, but the stupid thing is that what we want to believe comes from what we are trained to believe. If we want to escape it we must develop self-awareness, awareness of the world around us, and the ability to re-train our brains.
I really believe men and women are basically not that different. Physically, yes — but mentally, I think we’re pretty much the same. Is this a radical statement? Perhaps, but I’m not sure who it would shock more — which side of the political spectrum, I mean. Because that’s not to say I don’t perceive inequality and the need for feminism and all that; I certainly consider myself a feminist. What I mean is that when I have a fight with my husband, I want it to at least be a unique, individualized fight — not some stereotypical, gender-conforming couple fight. Is that too much to ask? Like, when I tell him about my problems, and he tells me a terse solution and acts insensitive, and I tell people and they’re all “ohhhh lol men just want to fix things and women want to share their emotions!! thats how life is lol” but yet wait a minute. That’s stupid because you could say the same thing if my husband comes home and tells me how hard his day was and I start offering callous, practical solutions to that. So stop. Stop with all this gender-conforming advice, people. Just stop. Also, I’m studying to be an engineer and my job will be to fix things so f*ck you for saying I’m not interested in fixing stuff because I’m a woman. I guess when my computer breaks I should just cry and share my emotions about it, then go nurse some crying babies while multitasking.