I have a tic. I’m pretty sure it’s a tic. And it’s really, really weird.
I have the breathing/gasping tic, which I’ve written about before. I also feel the need to sniffle or snort sometimes that’s different from a typical need to do so (hard to explain, but makes sense if you already know what having tics is like). The need is real, but it’s also different. But now there’s this other thing that’s popped up or I’ve just begun noticing and it’s really, really weird.
I’ll be eating, chewing my food, and about to swallow when all of a sudden I feel like I need to sniffle. There’s nothing in my nose, and my nose is not itchy. This is simply the worst possible time I could need to sniffle, because it involves the danger of choking on my food. For some reason that seems to actually tell my brain: You need to do this right now. So what I have to do is sniffle very, very carefully in order not to choke on my food, and often feel like I need to do it several times.
It’s funny because when people think of Tourette’s they think of people who blurt out the worst possible thing in social situations, such as a curse word. In my case it seems to be more about the worst possible thing in a more inward sort of way.
Of course, I can just avoid doing it — but then I think about it. I have to think about not doing it, and that’s distracting. So then I have a choice — do something distracting, or be distracted by feeling like I need to do it. Which is more distracting?
It’s not like this is greatly interfering with my life — it’s just odd, and mildly interesting. I do hope I don’t choke on my food, though.