Embracing Uncertainty and Imbalance

It may not work for everyone, but lately I find myself engaging in small “exercises” to encourage myself to be open to the inherent uncertainty and imbalance we all encounter in life. One of these is purposefully wearing mismatched socks in a very obvious way (as I am doing tonight). If I wear a perfectly matched outfit, I’m more inclined to frequently check and see if my socks are pulled up all the way/folded evenly/at the same height. Looking back on it, I’ve even purposefully mismatched my shoes in years past, probably for the same subconscious reasons. Another thing I used to do was to purposefully hang crooked pictures on the wall — this was my way of taking charge of the fact that a picture I unintentionally put up crooked would bother me. If I did it on purpose, I took control of the situation, and was not as bothered. That doesn’t mean it’s about control, though, so much as awareness and acceptance. While I admit I can be controlling at times, I don’t think this is a major facet of my personality.

Are there any “exercises” you all do to combat your OCD? I can’t do the same thing with my tics, because of the intense physical discomfort I experience from not doing them. But because OCD is about mental rituals, I can assist myself in “thinking” myself free by doing these little things more often.

Still Alive

Sorry for being one of “those people” (the people who make “I’m still alive” posts) but yes, I’m still alive. I temporarily abandoned this weblog so I could focus on schoolwork, and I sure have needed it. It’s been hard keeping up with a full-time course-load, two kids, and a part-time job. Right now my OCD seems to be taking a back-seat in my life, probably because of being so busy — and I’m not going to complain about that. However, it does mean that I’ll have less to write about on my OCD blog. The good news is that my writing skills are improving due to my English course, so next time I have a debilitating OCD problem, I will be able to write about it brilliantly! Maybe. We’ll see. At this point, the only problems I have with OCD are not truly interfering with my life (yes, I still lock my car doors 5 or 10 times before leaving the house, and it is preferably an even number so 5 would actually be bad, but, it’s not taking up a lot of my time).

I do miss reading all the blogs I’ve been following. Maybe sometime this weekend, I’ll take a chance to catch up and then I might even get some new ideas for posts. But for now, I’ll be thankful that I haven’t had much to write about.