OCD Desert

Lately I’ve been in a desert where I have few OCD symptoms, or the ones I have don’t bother me as much as they used to. And I’m grateful for that. Part of me is sad I haven’t had much to write about, but I’m glad that I don’t feel OCD is controlling my life. I feel more aware of the anxiety in my life, and more able to control it; I feel more aware of my own fears and worries, and that helps me cope with them a lot better. I still struggle with others assuming when I express concern that I have been over-worrying, and that’s probably something I’ll struggle with my whole life. Once a worrier, others will tend to naturally assume you are “just worrying too much.” But right now, that’s the worst part — I hope that one day, those close to me will trust when I express concern about something that yes, it is valid, and no, I’m not “just worrying too much.” At the very least, consideration that my concerns might be valid would be appreciated. I know we are all capable of error sometimes, but I would prefer it if the default assumption is no longer “she must just be stressing out over something silly.” I guess I will just have to work to get to that point.

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3 thoughts on “OCD Desert

  1. Matt Marinello says:

    Nice post. Good things improved. Me? My ocd has gotten worse to being a non-stop every waking moment thing, and now I’m starting to get tourette’s (phonic and normal) and I’m real schizo too. I’m starting to get physical compulsions. I figure now that I might as well do the compulsions if it works for me.

    • willitbeok says:

      Oh no Matt. 😦 I’ve been logging into this WordPress less (bad habit) and didn’t see your comment until now. I’m sorry things are worse for you. But you know what? Sometimes it’s ok to be worse. Looking back on it, there were times my OCD was really bad and things were tough, but I learned a lot from it, too. I hope you work your way through this alright.

      • Matt Marinello says:

        Well the weird things I do so much research I can have technical conversations with doctors and often find out they don’t prescribe effective meds and jump to conclusions. I don’t. It’s been a while after getting some benzo and depacote it seems to have helped. If you google it you can find that I’m different and not easily treatable. I’m schizo-obsessive. I guess I don’t have schiz-ocd. I’m schizo and ocd. Thing is the schitz meds lower serotonin which cancels out the ocd meds also I’m bipolar and alot of the antidepressents get me manic so yeah. I actually know what would help. deep brain stimulation (putting some chip in my head haha.) but I’m too scared to get my skull cut open haha. all i know is I wouldn’t get manic.

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